34. I can't believe how old I am. And, yes, I remember saying the same thing when I was 22... But seriously, this is the age I used to consider "middle age" back when I was 18-20. Now keep pushing the definition of "middle age" further and further forward in time. I mean, definitely no earlier than 50, right?
I don't feel old. I'm in better physical (and mental?) shape than I was in my early twenties, first of all. But then again, I am not in the life situation I imagined "back then", not even close. Not saying things are worse. Just... different. When I was around twenty, I would never have imagined that almost 15 years later I would still be a student. Or that I would be living alone. On the other hand, I would have never of being a fresh karate 1. dan, either. Just to mention one thing.
Sometimes I try to imagine what things would be like if not life had taken some of those more unexpected turns - and a some point I'll end up realizing that I'd miss lots of things that I've won. Of course there are things I want to change (my job!!) but I have also come to realize that the thought of not wanting to change anything around me scares the crap out of me!
Life is nothing like I'd have imagined, but at the same time it's so much more.
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