New year, art and blogging

No. I'm not going to write a recap of 2014, as I figured I'd much rather comment on my situation now, right this moment.

I have a cold. I have problems sleeping at night. BUT: I feel great! I have so much inspiration right now. Started this year doing mainly two things: sleeping and artwork! I've almost finished one of my more long-term pieces. Once again, allowing myself some time "off" everything has been great - I never decided to work on my art either. And, once again, I've been reminded of how inspiring some people can be, sometimes it doesn't take more than a simple word or two from the right person and you just watch things evolve from that. There are so many pent-up ideas! I wish I could keep doing only this for a while longer, but the holidays are ending. Time to return to reality.

OK, one comment on this blog too. I noticed that last year was my most passive so far, write-wise. I miss writing in Swedish, but haven't done anything about it yet. No new blog, because I don't feel ready to end this one (and I doubt that I would have the motivation to keep two blogs going at the same time), but I'm not sure about changing this blog back to Swedish either. We'll see.

On training and inspiration

I have had loads to do at uni lately. Most of it has been very interesting - I write about things I am interested in, after all - but one downside is that I haven't been training (no karate, no running, no other kind of working out either...) for the last two weeks. Two weeks might not sound like a very long time to some, but for me it is. And while I'll confess that it would not have been impossible to train all days, on most of the free nights I've had, I've simply been too tired. Still not sure whether I'm making up excuses or tying to learn to accept weakness...

Last month, another member of the same karate organisation initiated the tart of a women's network within it. So far the network has been about sharing experiences, memories, photos and other things - we have a closed facebook group and a smaller number f the members have also started using the same training log site. This has all been very inspiring, and  the training log has been good for my motivation when it comes to actual training. Knowing that people you know can see both how and how often you train can really be that kick in the butt you need to get going some days. But the last two weeks this has made my inactivity even more frustrating - as now everyone has been able to follow it! Embarrassing!

I'll be back (doing karate) tomorrow, and have promised myself to throw in at least one good run too this week.

Update from the Yellow House

Just realised I completely forgot to update last month. Lots of things going on, most of them relating to my studies. I'm glad to say I've finally got ahead with my thesis again. AND I found an actual interest in it again, so I rarely even have to force myself to work on it anymore. I'm not only working on my masters in Ethology, but at the same time also an essay in Art theory. The later one will, or so are the plans, later be included as a chapter in my masters, and the subject for it was chosen with this in mind - I'm analysing the architectural changes done to a representational building in the town I've already been studying for my Ethnology theses.

Beside the sheer inspiration, one more thing that helps me focus right now is I got myself a key to the so called "Yellow House", a building on campus reserved for students working on their masters theses. I don't really have my own room here - you are supposed to clear your table by the end of each day in case someone else needs it - but a locker for my stuff (so I don't need to carry it back and forth) and a table that's practically become mine.

There are many things I could also mention but I'll keep it short and try to return soon enough.

Sunshine is my new drug

It looks like the belated and longed for spring might finally be here after all. I seem to have more energy than I've had in a long time. Yesterday I went for my longest jog yet this year. Even though I waited until the evening, the weather was almost too hot. Still felt great afterwards, though (in spite of a slight dehydration)! I'm not sure whether I've written this before or not, but I've been surprised this spring of how little my allergies have bothered me when exercising! I still have no idea as to why, but so far I have not suffered one single allergy attack while, nor after, running. I have not done anything different that I can think of, I even exercised less last winter than I'd done the past couple of years, and I haven't changed my medicine (I still go for your average anti-histamines) or anything, but for some reason my health has just been better this spring than "ever" before! Which also means that it's so much easier for me to enjoy running - lovely! Strange, but lovely!

(Oh, I see now that I commented on this a couple of posts ago.)

One more thing that's going well at he moment is my artwork. Suddenly, missing pieces just appeared! Now I just wish I had more time to put on it. I still have deadlines to catch at uni, so I don't quite have the courage to really throw myself into my art just yet. I should probably also look into getting some new canvases, rather than just picking around on my old, un- or half finished ones... Not that I wouldn't love to finish them of course, I'm just starting to realise that it might never happen.And it would be interesting to try out some of the new ideas on fresh surfaces, to really start from scratch for once.

Have to go now (dinner at mum's). Will seriously try to keep up here on the blog. The longer it takes, the harder it is to write...

exciting work-related headline goes here... (No. I'm keeping this one.)

Waiting to hear from two different eventual future workplaces. I've applied for internships for this summer, and so far been interviewed for two of them. Both interviews were surprisingly nice experiences! The interviewers asked only relevant questions, answered my questions, and seemed more focused on letting me learn about the places in general and the tasks and other details linked to my eventual work there. In both cases I left the interview with a more more positive image of the place, than I had had before. So, of course I hope to receive a positive answer from at least one of them. Still have some places left to apply for, though.

 At Uni, things are... well, quite interesting right now, to be honest. Except for just having started on my masters, I'm also currently working on an article... on Death! Or, rather, on writing about death. Still fascinating, though! It's inspiring to work on a subject this new to me, after having stuck to more "relevant" (to e.g. my thesis) subjects for quite a while. And today, by shear coincidence, I found one more article to use! I might or might not use the same (or a similar) theme for an upcoming presentation in English, but haven't quite decided on this yet. Bo Lönnqvist, who is one of the scholars I'm referring to in this work, will be giving a lecture on the subject here at Uni next week, so looking forward to that!

Library closing, have to log out. Happy weekend everyone!

on moving and training

This weekend I'll join my mother up to Jakobstad for what should be the last part of the moving ordeal. We are to collect and move the everything that's been forgotten, discard everything else, throw out junk and clean the place up best we can. Mother is obviously stressed about this (I don't blame her!) and keeps putting things up, while instead worrying about all the smallest things. She has this tendency to put up everything uncomfortable until later... (I have it to sometimes, at least  I know where I've got it from...) But we already chose this weekend and I've arranged with time off work so it has to happen now. It's also the last chance for us to get this done before Christmas. I try to remind her about how much better it will feel when it's all over. I mean, it's not like I'm exactly eager to do this either, but we have to. And it will be good to (hopefully!) have it finished before the holidays!

The Christmas party last weekend was great; I had lots of fun even though I couldn't practice myself. I still enjoyed the social in the evening, an during practice I spent my time snapping pictures instead, and brought along my karate journal to take notes. It's always frustrating not being able to take part in the training, no matter why, but this time I think I  actually learned a lot from watching. I noticed some things that I'll definitely want to work on, and realized how certain things (mistakes) seem to relate to each other... Very inspiring! Bring on the new year!

new home decoration project/quote

Late last night, just as I was going to bed, I suddenly found myself redecorating the window on my hall door (This door has been mentioned before, when I've written about the "map butterflies"). I had tried to paint  a flower-themed thing on it some weeks ago, but was never too happy with it - and therefore never finished it. But last night, when checking facebook that last time before tucking in, I suddenly found this quote, and just knew that I had to use it! I have this fascination with words and text, also the aesthetic aspects of it, and have always wanted to find the right text for that door. Now I think I have, at lest for a while.  At some point it will change.

I don't have any pictures of the "painting" yet, but this was the text:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you will miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life". I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that every day I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Maya Angelou

I'll post photos when it's finished! Still needs some small fix-ups.

Summer School and karate in general

I'm back! Almost two weeks later... Wanted to write earlier, but just never got myself to it.

Summer School was an absolutely great experience again this year. The course theme was kept simple, with an emphasis on "old" methods and so, instead of radical new methods we were given the basic old school ones with lots of time and repetitions to work on them - which I think was good. I could see myself making progress and I know I wasn't the only one! One more special thing this year was for me to spend my first time on the blackbelt- side of the group. This meant practice partners on a high level, and at the same time lots of feedback from the technical group members and other higher dan-grades.

I came home with lots of inspiration, for my own training as well as for my instructing this fall. I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but I've asked my instructors to let me teach the beginners' group again this year, and have now also got a kyu-grade (who happens to have started as a a student of mine) to do this with me. Will be fun! I have a basic set of ideas I'd like to try, but nothing very radical. In fact, I think I'd like to go quite orthodox with the whole thing this year. So the Summer School theme fit me like a glove this year. I'm also looking forward to this year's marketing campaign.

One more thing about Summer School: This year I finally got my ass out of bed every day in time for the morning jog an kata-session with our Estonian friends! And it was good! I have to repeat that next year! After returning home, I've tried to repeat this routine of early morning jogs, but failed badly so far. This morning I would have finally been up on time, but found it was raining quite hard outside so cancelled it. But I'll give it some more time.

And by the way, I've stopped following my protein intake now, but still eat a bit extra of it, now that I have the routine.

my temporary studio

This is what it looks like when I want to (do art)work at home. I do have a nice big table and all, but... It's overflowing with all kinds of junk. Also, I simply like working on the floor, it gives me more space. I still haven't seen anything like the drive I had last spring, but try to return to my art every once in a while. Think I got of to a good enough start again, at least. And now that the term is over, I should have more time to focus on my art.

I say this every year.

What are the sunglasses doing in the picture, you ask? Oh, they were actually included in a self portrait (hence the mirror)

post-weekend and also post-course update

The course turned out great! We had loads of fun, got both critique, kudos and inspiration, and learned so much! And I got my black belt! So happy!

Unfortunately, I also either caught a flu or then it was the exhaustion that came with the hard practice turning the slight chill I had to a full-blown flu. Whatever it is, I'm not feeling too fresh right now. I'm off my instructing duties for the time being (hoping to be back in shape soon!) but still have to finish the corrections to my thesis - something I should have done by now.

Instead, I've spent today procrastinating by uploading pictures again... One album with pictures from the course is now on facebook, but I failed at creating one for/on google+. I don't know why, but the whole thing just cut off and disappeared, and this happened three times! If I finally manage to get the album done, I will post a link to it here on the blog. I don't want to post the pictures here, simply because they are so many! (And because I can't pick just a couple of them)

About art again

I don't have that absolute rush of creative energy anymore, the one I found (or that found me) about a month ago, but I'm still surfing on it. So there's still progress but I don't stay up late to work every night. I should still focus a biiit more on my essays and other assignments, of course, but what can I do? One of the new... features? ...materials..? I've been using in my present work is cosmetics. I've included both eyeshadow and nail polish in the painted parts of the artworks.The nail polish came quite naturally, as I seem to have a fascination for drawing hands right now. Why am I writing about my art without posting pictures? I don't know, maybe because I'm simply excited?
Sometimes it's hard to tell whether a post like this one really belongs in this blog, or if it should be posted in my art blog instead. But the art blog more focused on pictures. I will be posting pictures soon enough, just have to get things a bit more finished and then borrow a camera.

Creation!

It finally happened! What, you ask? Art! I came home in a bad mood late last night, thought for a little while about what to do, then just took out my "old" unfinished works (on canvas) and started! Something just burst, and after five hours, four good and nostalgic records*, one big beer, two cups of tea and a big chunk of chocolate, I had done some serious changes to all five of the canvases! And went to bed at about 05:30 in the morning. I have been more than a bit tired today, but it was worth it. I really like the ideas I  started working on, so it all feels quite inspiring. I'm longing to work more on them. And I can't remember when last I'd have felt such a rush! The re-coating and other changes felt very cathartic too, in a way.
Should borrow a camera so I'd get the things documented. The "new" projects are collages on canvas, that I didn't like anymore but couldn't think of how to change either, so they've been sitting on a shelf for a year or so now. I'm not sure how much I want to write about the technical details so far, but let's just say that one new medium I've been using now is eyeshadow! I'll get back to it as soon as I return home, but as
I have to get up earlier tomorrow than I managed today so I might have to take it a bit easier...

* Tool: Undertow, Depeche Mode: Songs of Faith and Devotion, Nirvana (collection), Massive Attack: Mezzanine.