Cold but inspired

I wanted to commet on two things mentioned in my last post:

First of all, having caught my second cold (or flu?) this winter and lost two nights of sleep because of the annoying fuck of a cough that came with it, I'd like to take back anything I wrote about "feeling great!" in my last post...

And, secondly, I did decide to start a new, seprarate blog in Swedish after all. Time will just have to tell what happens to this one, maybe I'll be able to find different uses for the two blogs. Unfortunately, I havent been able to do so yet as I never got the required confirmation mail (and, so far, no answer from their info/support) but I'll give it a Little while (most likely a couple of hours, knowing myself an my infamous lack of patience) and start it somewhere else if nothing more happens... Restless! Whenever I get any kind of idea or Project into my mind I want to do it NOW. Immediately.

Today, Ive decided to defy my cold and go to uni at lest for a short visit, maybe lunch. I want to see how it works for me to be around people (noticed it's more difficult to really tell your condition when home alone) so I can decide whether or not to attend an exhibition opening tonight. Hope to attend, as it would obviously be fun but also a much welcome change.

New year, art and blogging

No. I'm not going to write a recap of 2014, as I figured I'd much rather comment on my situation now, right this moment.

I have a cold. I have problems sleeping at night. BUT: I feel great! I have so much inspiration right now. Started this year doing mainly two things: sleeping and artwork! I've almost finished one of my more long-term pieces. Once again, allowing myself some time "off" everything has been great - I never decided to work on my art either. And, once again, I've been reminded of how inspiring some people can be, sometimes it doesn't take more than a simple word or two from the right person and you just watch things evolve from that. There are so many pent-up ideas! I wish I could keep doing only this for a while longer, but the holidays are ending. Time to return to reality.

OK, one comment on this blog too. I noticed that last year was my most passive so far, write-wise. I miss writing in Swedish, but haven't done anything about it yet. No new blog, because I don't feel ready to end this one (and I doubt that I would have the motivation to keep two blogs going at the same time), but I'm not sure about changing this blog back to Swedish either. We'll see.

About blogging and self-promotion

Lately, I've been pondering what to do with my other blog, the "art blog" as I think it's been referred to here. It was once created to be a place for me to post and update about my own artwork (and, on the side, about inspiring work of other artists) but it's obviously not being used for that. Too actively, that is. I've been wanting to post pictures from my sketchbook for quite a while now, but this seems just to turn into one more of those things I find myself not going... And recently, I haven't posted much else, either. Yesterday, I tried to give the blog a little fix-up, but to be honest, I'm still not sure if it's for the better or worse. It is more reader-friendly (and viewer-friendly) now, with the bigger text and all, but, on the downside, this almost makes me nervous to post - about my own work, that is.

But after doing a test-post, and liking the new looks of the blog as well as the overall picture quality, I've decided to give the blog one more chance. And to motivate myself to keep posting, I immediately shared the post on G+. Let's see how long it lasts this time.

Listening to: Testament! \m/

Drab November post

November always seems to be a hard time for me. It's more than just the near-constant darkness, all though I'm sure it affects me too. Just as I haven't written here for weeks, I've had a hard time writing anywhere else either. My other blog has not been touched in at least a month (if not longer), I'm running late with my essays again (and it seemed so good for a while!), I rarely feel I have anything I need to say over facebook or twitter and even my old-school paper diary is being neglected. I don't think this is anything too serious, but it bothers me nevertheless. I hate feeling ineffective and it's stressful to watch that heap of unfinished things grow. But this would all bother me much less if it weren't for the troubles writing.

I hope this will pass soon. I feel lost without my words.

Edit: Now that I checked my blogroll, I saw that I've always posted less in November - and last year did not write any November posts at all.  November and May are those months, obviously. But for different reasons.

7.000!

Yay! Today this blog passed 7.000 pageviews!

And then back to reality. Right now I feel that as soon as I've adjusted to a certain work rhythm, one that helps me get things done on time and feel in control of things, right about then, something more will come up. Ironically, at the same time I know that this is the speed and workload  should have stuck to from the beginning ( when I started studying), had I wanted to finish in five years, like you are supposed to. I still can't imagine how that would have been possible. Maybe if I had not changed my major...

It's now set: I'll be attending the Vaasa course this weekend. It will be interesting, the least. On the upside, I didn't have to take time off work to do this, as incoming Saturday is a red day, meaning my workday has been shifted to Friday. But the downside of this is that I'll be going straight from work to riding up to Vaasa in a  crowded car, to attend two days of heavy karate practise. Then return on Sunday night -no rest for the wicked.

On blogging and longing for a vacation

At uni again, and actually working (or... umm...  was doing that until now.) I am taking some quite interesting courses right now, which makes it easier for me to put down the effort. One of them (and this might be one of the most interesting courses I've taken in a long time) is Blogriot versus feminism, just started, where we look at many of the phenomenons around blogging - who does it, to whom, self imaging etc. It's been fun to try analyze other peoples blogs, and very inspiring, but at the same time it makes me realise how... well, boring my own blog can be. I know that this blog doesn't follow any kind of theme, for example. But I'm still holding on to the idea of keeping this one as the "free/unbound" blog, where I can just allow things to appear, grow or die without trying to shape it too much. I do plan to post more pictures, though. Just haven't  allowed myself the time. (And no, I dont own an iphone.) I have probably mentioned my other blog over at tumblr? OK, I know I have. It would in a way have more "potential", if I could just get it out and start updating regularly. I still have no clue at all why I don't. I had actually planned to do so tonight, but now that I've got this far I'm already to tired. Basically nodding off in my chair. Will be heading home soon.

 I think my biggest overall problem at the moment is how tired I've been recently. And with that I mean constantly tired. I wonder if a weekend off again would do me good, or if I should focus more on my eating habits..? Been lots of tea and sweets lately.

And it  looks like I might have an extra weekend off very soon. I asked my job for a free weekend as soon as I heard about the upcoming Estonian course, but the chances of me actually attending are very, very slim. Normally it would bother me to know I'm "wasting" a  weekend off (without having a program or other "good" excuse) but I'm growing more and more fond of the thought even as I write this.

Oh, and the beginners course started well! I think there were about ten new people on the first session, and I'm very happy with that. There might also still be some people showing up later. Unfortunately I missed the second session (I was late, no better reason) but will be all the more excited to see what things look like next Tuesday.

Listening to: Bob Dylan

happily wasting time

So, I now started using StumbleUpon, too. And I got hooked immediately. I mean, for a notorious procrastinator like me it must be either one of the best or worst things ever invented - depending on how you look at it. I already have two blogs, accounts on both facebook and twitter, and... you name it. I seriously should start using a computer without internet access for my writing...
Speaking of blogs, I was more than a bit surprised yesterday to learn that this blog suddenly had been visited by over 100 people in one day... (When it rarely has over 10) From the most surprising countries, too! I wonder what made it happen this time.

Changes

I'm doing some changes to the blog right now - nothing drastic so far, but it'll be fun to see where this ends... I looked it over last night and realised I haven't done any maintenance to the blog in ages, so I figured it's about time. And hopefully this will also help me catch up with some of the changes done to the whole google/blogger package and learn how to use it again... Still wish I knew how to code, though.

The written sketchbook

Sometimes when I want to write a blogpost I'll just sit down in front of the computer and start writing something. Just as often I'll go searching for ideas in a litle book of "bacic ideas". I keep this book next to my bed, and every now and then I'll write something in it just before I go to sleep.

(I use to post my midnight ramblings here when I'd have trouble sleeping - see any posts tagged "insomnia" - but I've found that it works better with a book. Now I don't have to get up to write.)

I wouldn't count this book as a "diary", simply because of how messy it is. It's more like a sketchbook but for words and thoughts. I'll write absolutely anything that comes to my head. Sometimes these writings will turn into blogposts that I'm very happy about (No. I will not mention which ones.) but just as often I'll be reminded of just how different text can look on screen... I still love writing with a pen.

One more thing I've noticed is that it seems I either both draw and write actively or do neither of them. So no, obviously no drawings have been made during the past couple of months. I've tried but it just hasn't worked, I've produced nothing. Of corse it can't be forced, but I really missed it and I hope to get back to drawing soon!

That's it for now. I'll stop before I've stared at the screen for too long.

Still alive

...and once again I'll try to find my way back to writing on a regular basis. I still don't get why I haven't. I already know that waiting for something important to write just doesn't work - just writing does. I have considered changing the language of the blog back to Swedish, but don't feel sure about it. So until I do, I won't.

Wow. I completely forgot what I was about to write. Maybe I'll remember it tomorrow. I'll try to returnhere more often anyway.

Show me how to live

I guess I forgot about how life changes like these don't go by without some reinventing of yourself. Some patching and mending. Sometimes I doubt everything I am. Luckily not for long. It's still scary, though. I miss my old friends from back home. Wish I wouldn't have to visit the Olde Hellhole to see them. One day I just realised that there's no one left here who knows me from before I came to Turku.
I made an important decision late last night: I will try to keep my alcohol intake to an absolute minimum this spring. It doesn't mean I can't or would refuse to party, just that I'll try to cut down on the booze when doing so. I still love beer, I just don't miss the person I obviously tend to turn into when I'm drunk.

I still don't have internet in the "new" apartment but I'll try to learn to cope with writing my posts here at university. I've missed blogging. Can't think of anything more to write now. Just that I'm very confused about most things. I'll just post now. OK.

A bit late

I know I haven't been updating in a good while. I've been blaming it on the move and not having had internet at home, but to be honest I've also simply been tired and unmotivated. There's a lot going on right now, and I'm simply trying not to mess everything up...

I guess I just wanted to say that I'm still alive and well... that I'll be trying to get some routines going again now that I've got used to the new place.

One more blog

I've finally made The New Blog!

This, of course, does not mean I'll stop writing and posting over here in the Creature blog. The new blog - over at tumblr - is going to be the slightly more "professional" blog, where i post about my own art projects as well as other artists I happen to come across and like. I have often thought of writing about art here, especially other people's art, and when I've seen something interesting I've bookmarked it for later or just written the name down - always with the thought that "I absolutely have to write about this... ..later". And then I never do. Things like that just don't fit in here. Considering my own art, I've always known that I want a different page for it. Something less personal than this place. I'm quite happy with it, at least to begin with, but lots of change will be done as soon as I learn how to... I never realized how accustomed I've grown to using blogger before trying to work even the least creatively with another medium... Wow. I still don't get most of it.

Anyway, check it out!

Writer's block?

I have to start writing posts again soon! I really want to, and I have missed the writing a lot - but for some reason I just can't seem to get myself to it. I wonder why... I should probably just start writing and see what happens.

I did add some new links today, though. Just some of the places I like and find myself returning to. Check them out if you feel like it!

Going to bed now. *yawn*

Change...

So... apparently I'm changing my blog again, this time to English... Quite possibly the most important thing I've done today (or not)... Let's see how long it'll last. Anyone up for a bet? ;)

Some tags will apparently still be in swedish though... or... hmm...