Yesterday was a heavy day. It had started the night before, a thing I heard about made me sad (no major issue, I have no idea why I reacted so strongly) and I went to bed in a bad mood. I woke up crying at 3.30 am, and couldn't get back to sleep until after 5pm. So the next morning I was not only still sad, but very tired. I didn't get too much done at work and, as the sadness passed, still felt empty inside for the rest of the day.
In the evening, I went jogging with some friends from my sports club, which seemed to kick the last pieces of miserable feelings out of my system. Amazing what physical exercise can do!
The thing is, these things don't happen too often, but still really scare me when they do. The emotional overreactions and, as in this case, the sleeplessness, are both thing that I recognize from my earlier depressions - which is exactly why these reactions scare me. I don't want to have anything like my last depression ever again. Every time this happens there's the fear of it not passing this time... Once again, I'm, happy it did. Relieved.
Today I have my weekly day off. And two weeks my vacation. I'll be careful not to pack any kind of work - a real challenge every year.
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