fredag 30 november 2012

me complaining

Winter came (again. Second attempt?) last night. Today it's almost a blizzard. It all looks very beautiful but the wind is cold and the darkness still adds to my bad mood. I'm tired, cold, stressed, completely unable to focus, and just generally grumpy. Definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I feel a definite lack of something. (But what?) This is one of those Fridays when I'd so be up for a beer (or a whiskey. Or something warm. Mulled wine...) but unfortunately it's also the last weekday before I get paid, so won't be doing that.

Had planned to go to Helsinki today to visit family, but had to cancel the trip because of the never-failing combo of too much work and too little cash. Now trying to finish at least one of my (late!) assignments so I can go home without too bad a conscience. The picture-based assignment turned out to be harder than I had expected - mostly because my severe lack of technical knowledge. So annoying! I had all of these great ideas in my head, but was unable to go through with them  and instead had to adjust everything to my abilities. I hope I learned something from it! Also, had to beg for one more extended deadline again, which bugged the hell out of me. Had hoped to have more things finished by now!

Should be heading home already, but I keep putting even that up because of the weather...

Tomorrow will be a new day. I'll try again.

fredag 23 november 2012

Friday brain drain

One more weekend off, thanks to cancelled plans. (Is it only me, or has this started to happen way too often?). It should be spent writing essays, I finished one of them last Wednesday, but have much more writing to look forward to. No less, as it doesn't look like I'll be finishing any projects today. It's only three in the afternoon and I'm already dozing off in front of the computer...

I have a very interesting new task to do, one unit of a course that involves working with (or in?) pictures instead of the usual essays. Not that I mind writing, of course, but working in new ways can be very stimulating! I just have to try and remember not to put too much time on this, as I simply don't have it. And there are more Important tasks to do. Frustrating!

So jealous of the people attending the karate course right now, but what can you do? And at least I had a great regular practise last night! More of that, plz.

onsdag 21 november 2012

letters or text messages

With the obvious risk of sounding old: Sometimes I miss the times of letter-writing. Late night I leafed through the always-full inbox of my mobile, searching for messages to delete, and I realized I still have some very old messages in there, ones I just haven't had the heart to delete. And now I don't know what to do with them.

This was what brought my mind to letter writing - in a way I envy the people of my parents' and grandparents' generations, who still wrote letters. Letters are so easy to save, you can just stack them away somewhere safe to find them twenty or more years later, but what to do with old text messages? I don't feel like copying all of them, because some are just... well, let's just say a bit private.

I am more than a little stressed right now. I am late with every assignment I'm working on. Every. One. I have tried to explain to my professor that however much I like the thought of putting everything else on ice for a couple of weeks to finish my thesis, it is just not possible at the moment. I cannot skip the courses I'm taking right now, as most of them are mandatory - so without passing them I will still not get my degree. Hope we'll find some kind of agreement soon. I do want to finish, it's just not possible to do more than I am doing right now.

söndag 18 november 2012

Drab November post

November always seems to be a hard time for me. It's more than just the near-constant darkness, all though I'm sure it affects me too. Just as I haven't written here for weeks, I've had a hard time writing anywhere else either. My other blog has not been touched in at least a month (if not longer), I'm running late with my essays again (and it seemed so good for a while!), I rarely feel I have anything I need to say over facebook or twitter and even my old-school paper diary is being neglected. I don't think this is anything too serious, but it bothers me nevertheless. I hate feeling ineffective and it's stressful to watch that heap of unfinished things grow. But this would all bother me much less if it weren't for the troubles writing.

I hope this will pass soon. I feel lost without my words.

Edit: Now that I checked my blogroll, I saw that I've always posted less in November - and last year did not write any November posts at all.  November and May are those months, obviously. But for different reasons.
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