Perfect stranger

This morning I woke up from a dream of you. It felt so strange. I haven't seen you in ages and, honestly, hadn't even thought about you in weeks but there you were. Nothing in particular happened in the dream, it was just the two of us being silly and ridiculously happy together. And waking up from that alone in a filthy flat to a normal workday just felt so drab. Especially as I could still, as I normally never do, remember the dream in such exact detail.

I don't consider myself as very superstitious. Still, you just showing up like that, by surprise and uninvited, made med think of you. I hope everything is OK with you, and that your day got off to a better start than mine. And I hope you didn't dream of me too. Just wanted to say that.

on junk, work and vacation

I decided by the end of May that I would not even touch any of my academic work throughout June. Why? Because I really needed the break. Now that June is almost over (still have no idea where the whole month disappeared to?!) I still think it was the right choice, it's been very good for me to lower the pace a bit for a while and allow myself to focus on the simple things - like my home and my health.

I've finally cleaned my flat up (not completely, but getting there) and also moved stuff around a little, for more space - and  I love the result! And at the same time I've finally got to throwing lots of junk out. The only thing that hasn't happened yet is the flea market table I had planned for. I did go and ask at a place, but the owner just said it was fully booked and  took my phone number to contact me whether this would change... and I still haven't heard from him. There are, of course, other flea markets in Turku but most of them have ridiculously expensive weekly fees.

In my last post I wrote that i now "should have more time to focus on my art", and I've tried to do that, too. I have done a number of sketches, but the really good ideas are never there when you crave them the most, I guess. Anyway, I'm hoping that this will also be easier to focus on now, with the worst mess gone from my home.

Where did I want to go with this post? I don't remember. It turned into one if these...

Weekend update

 I'm OK, just haven't taken the time to write for a while. I have two awesome weekends behind me, and a busy week in between these. The course in Tallinn was great, very inspiring and lots of hard work - like it should be.

This weekend was spent at Kåren, where the rock organization RÅA gave their annual two-day festival, featuring 2 x 8 different temporary cover bands. This year shows by the likes of Metallica, The Who, Manowar, Megadeth, Motörhead and Bruce Springsteen, just to mention a few. I had a great time and was quite impressed with  most of the bands. Brought my friend Mr Camera around this time and had some fun with him/it. Still have lots to learn about using it though, and taking pictures during concerts is particularly hard (and often a waste of good concert time). But there were some good pictures among them, just have to sort through them all.

Suffered a bit of a hangover today - seems I can hardly stand any alcohol anymore - but managed to cure it with the help of my  Simple Hangover Soup: very salty (vegetable) stock + frozen veggie mix + chilli powder + garlic. It works!

And tomorrow it's Monday again. Wasn't it Monday just the other day? I'm growing suspicious about these constantly recurring Mondays...

Listening to: Graveyard

Birthday post

34. I can't believe how old  I am. And, yes, I remember saying the same thing when I was 22... But seriously, this is the age I used to consider "middle age" back when I was 18-20. Now  keep pushing the definition of "middle age" further and further forward in time. I mean, definitely no earlier than 50, right?

I don't feel old. I'm in better physical (and mental?) shape than I was in my early twenties, first of all. But then again, I am not in the life situation I imagined "back then", not even close. Not saying things are worse. Just... different. When I was around twenty, I would never have imagined that almost 15 years later I would still be a student. Or that I would be living alone. On the other hand, I would have never of being a fresh karate 1. dan, either. Just to mention one thing.

Sometimes I try to imagine what things would be like if not life had taken some of those more unexpected turns - and a some point  I'll end up realizing that I'd miss lots of things that I've won. Of course there are things I want to change (my job!!) but I have also come to realize that the thought of not wanting to change anything around me scares the crap out of me!

Life is nothing like I'd have imagined, but at the same time it's so much more.

Still alive

I'm still alive. Have thought of writing, but not of anything worth mentioning. My training motivation (karate) seems to be back again, at least. I'll try to think of something to post soon enough. Have been writing (personal diary), but nothing I've felt like posting here. I'll be back soon enough.

Mid-week brain-emptying

So I didn't finish the assignment on time (is anyone surprised at this?) but did so today. On to the next one, then. I'm very relieved by the fact that the two web-based courses I'm taking at the moment both have assignment deadlines two weeks apart but placed so that they have every other weekend - one assignment to finish per week. Makes life easier, indeed.

It was nice to have the weekend off, but it didn't seem to be enough for me. Still tired. The darkness makes it even harder for me to get up in the mornings. And as soon as I stop working I get sleepy. Or maybe it did help a bit. Now that I think of it, I've actually been quite effective this week! (so far. It's only Wednesday, after all.) So OK, a brief pause to load the old mental batteries, but could have taken some more of it.

I'm also tired of being broke all of the time, it would be so nice to be able to do or have something extra every once in a while.

Got a few people to show some interest in this year's Christmas party planning-project, good! It's lots of fun but I won't have neither time nor energy to do too much myself this year, so I'll seriously have to remember to delegate. I'll miss out on part of the event myself, as the three-hour exam of my English course is the same day. Oh, joy. The Christmas party normally consists of 3 + 3 hours of practice in the day, followed by a dinner party in the evening. I hope to still be able to attend both the afternoon session and dinner.

Now home for more sleep. Need more loading for tomorrow.

midweek randoms

I'm at university pretending to work again. What I'm pretending to do is to write a lecture diary, but somehow I stuck to other things. I've finally updated my art blog over on tumblr, for example. Found a couple of new favourites, too. I know, something when you need to get things done everything else will seem inspiring, but in this case I feel happy about it. The lack of action on the blog has been bothering me for so long.

I am finally seing some results after all of the work I've done at university this spring. I'm finishing at least some things, and will be looking forward to seing some credits, too. Can't believe it's only wednesday,  I've been here every night for the past... four days. Looking forward to the weenend, even though I know I'll be spending most of it here in the computer class writing. I'll put a note in my calendar of doing something fun. (Hah!)

Listening to right now: The Jesus and Mary Chain, Amathema.

Sunday randoms

It's been a good Sunday today! I've both enjoyed the day and got things done. I started the day with a long walk, and so did apparently the rest of Turku too. The weather was just lovely (Finally, after so many months I could actually feel the warmth of the sun. This almost magical feeling can't possibly mean as much to people from other parts of the world, can it?)- and every street and path I walked was crowded with people. I walked for an hour and a half, and when back home made double chocolate-raspberry muffins. The muffins were ridiculously good, but I'll still have to work a bit on the recipe.

Now I'm at university pretending to do Important Things. Just kidding, I have got some writing done on an essay I'm working at, thrown some emails around and made a new profile on one of the job hunting-sites (had to, because I had forgot my username and/or password), amongst other things. Still, yes, most things I've done here have been slightly less important things. But I'll allow that on a Sunday.

Sadly, I'll miss practice again tonight. New attempt on Tuesday!