onsdag 15 oktober 2014

on aging parent(s)

Had a scary moment with my 75 year-old mother this Monday. Paid her a visit (after having been away fr two days) and just noticed something was wrong. She seemed very nervous and confused, and complained about this and about feeling "lost". She kept asking about small things in her home, which all seemed strange to her - groceries she had bought, some small objects on the table, books she had got from the library, the damp clothes hung up to dry... She couldn't recall any of them and asked me, over and over again, "have you brought those? "Did you wash here?" "Can you tell me what that even is?" No matter how many times I answered the same questions, she was not able to remember the answer. She couldn't remember what she had done the past couple of days, where she had been or even whether she had eaten the same day or not. This was both shocking and scary, as she had never suffered anything like this before, nor had problems with her memory.

This state, however, passed the same evening and she saw a doctor the following morning. His conclusion after many questions and tests (I had to answer some of the questions, as she had almost no recollections of the night before) was transient global amnesia, which is not uncommon among elderly women, and that there should be no imminent danger of any kind. She will go through numerous tests next week, though, and we both hope and fear learning something more then.I still fear that this will turn out to be a symptom of something worse.

I was still shaky after all of this was over (and after a sleepless night), but trying to feel relief now. Not quite able to convince myself, though. Her aging scares me, or rather the risks that entail aging. I guess it's one of the things you will never grow used to. And how could you, as it's a changing progress itself?

I must remember to cherish the good times. I'll log out now and pay her a visit.

fredag 10 oktober 2014

Friday afternoon procrastination

Friday. Very tired today and having absolutely no motivation whatsoever. Still decided to stay around a bit longer and at least pretend to work.I find myself checking my twitter feed more than anything else. And looking through the contents on my memory stick marked "Karate". I notice now that surprisingly much of the material is unknown even to myself. And while some of it certainly very interesting, it's also definitely not what I should be doing right now. It's far too easy to be lazy when there's no one else around.Or, well, distracted might be a better word than lazy - I'm actively procrastinating after all...

My conscience isn't too bad, though. I've made progress with both theses and I don't have any impending deadline right this moment. That I know of.

Wow. This was a very necessary post.

fredag 3 oktober 2014

Update from the Yellow House

Just realised I completely forgot to update last month. Lots of things going on, most of them relating to my studies. I'm glad to say I've finally got ahead with my thesis again. AND I found an actual interest in it again, so I rarely even have to force myself to work on it anymore. I'm not only working on my masters in Ethology, but at the same time also an essay in Art theory. The later one will, or so are the plans, later be included as a chapter in my masters, and the subject for it was chosen with this in mind - I'm analysing the architectural changes done to a representational building in the town I've already been studying for my Ethnology theses.

Beside the sheer inspiration, one more thing that helps me focus right now is I got myself a key to the so called "Yellow House", a building on campus reserved for students working on their masters theses. I don't really have my own room here - you are supposed to clear your table by the end of each day in case someone else needs it - but a locker for my stuff (so I don't need to carry it back and forth) and a table that's practically become mine.

There are many things I could also mention but I'll keep it short and try to return soon enough.
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