I survived Summer School

I survived Summer School! Had a great course experience again this year, but I can't remember having ever before struggled this much to recover... I returned home early last Sunday (the course having ended on Friday) and it took until the end of this week before I started to feel "normal" again. Those first couple of days back at work were one.hell.of.a.mess... Or, rather, I was. And my first karate session back home, on Thursday, was ridiculously heavy. Still, I once again came home from Britain with lots of inspiration and good points to work on, and feel very motivated about practice overall. So it was all very much worth the pain. Like I knew it would be.

Last Friday I did my last day of work at the museum. Double feelings. It will be good to have more time over for my studies, but at the same time I worry about my (closest) future - I still haven't found any job for this fall... And I defiantly refuse to go back to paper delivery... So that's one more thing on my list of things to fix. This list is always long this time of the year, with the new term starting. Oh well, back to reality it is, then.

One of those days (or nights)

Yesterday was a heavy day. It had started the night before, a thing I heard about made me sad (no major issue, I have no idea why I reacted so strongly) and I went to bed in a bad mood. I woke up crying at 3.30 am, and couldn't get back to sleep until after 5pm. So the next morning I was not only still sad, but very tired. I didn't get too much done at work and, as the sadness passed, still felt empty inside for the rest of the day.

In the evening, I went jogging with some friends from my sports club, which seemed to kick the last pieces of miserable feelings out of my system. Amazing what physical exercise can do!

The thing is, these things don't happen too often, but still really scare me when they do. The emotional overreactions and, as in this case, the sleeplessness, are both thing that I recognize from my earlier depressions - which is exactly why these reactions scare me. I don't want to have anything like my last depression ever again. Every time this happens there's the fear of it not passing this time... Once again, I'm, happy it did. Relieved.

Today I have my weekly day off. And two weeks my vacation. I'll be careful not to pack any kind of work - a real challenge every year.